The People Who Think They Know Me, What Exactly Do You Think You Know?

I’m not saying that I like everyone or that everyone has to like me…..haters gonna hate after all.  I just think that if you’re going to hate on me you should at least know what you’re hating.

Do me a solid, and the next time you meet someone, invest time into getting to know them.  Not just the normal things, but the things that really make that person who they are.  It’s the quirky things we all do who make us who we are.  Everyone has a story, maybe we should all work harder at getting to know everyone’s stories…….

Did you know that…….

  • I check the Humane Society website every week, and it gives me all the sad feels because I know I can’t save all the dogs?
  • rarely, do I feel like I’m accomplishing anything with my life?
  • when I get ready every day I turn on Pandora and have a dance party in my bathroom while Scout silently judges me and waits for her dose of coconut oil?
  • I never thought I could be this strong until I was forced to be?
  • when I’m sad or depressed I cook mountains of food and then just put it all in the fridge?
  • I keep a picture of my grandparents in my closet to remind me to stay humble and appreciate things?
  • I will be your best friend or your worst enemy, the choice is up to you, and how you treat me?
  • I don’t know that I’ll ever be one of those girls who feel confident in her own skin?
  • I get oddly hyper and excited about the most random things?
  • when you judge me for not wanting kids, I have very real reasons and emotions that effect the way I feel about it?
  • even though I have really bad hand/eye coordination, I tend to get lucky wins when I play darts?
  • every time I go for a run, I pray that it will be the run that makes me enjoy running….it never is?
  • underneath the RBF and the makeup I actually really self-conscious, insecure, and never feel good enough?
  • I’m obsessed with Christmas decorations because I feel like they make everything feel homier?
  • sometimes, even with a college degree, half a master’s, and a salary I still feel like I live paycheck to paycheck?
  • for all my whining, I know that I’m exceedingly blessed to be where I am?
  • I’m ok on my own, but sometimes it would be nice to have someone to go grocery shopping with?
  • I’d rather sit around home and watch a movie than go out anymore?
  • sometimes, all I want is to get dressed up, put on fake eyelashes, and go out?
  • I have really absurd life plans….opening a strip club/burlesque bar anyone?
  • I hate trying new things around new people? Old things with new people, or new things with my people!
  • I always assume I’m the problem?
  • I’d rather have my ride or die friends than a bunch of people I just “kinda sorta” know?
  • I’m a feminist, but I like my relationships a bit old school?
  • I sat through my Dad’s funeral and burial and didn’t cry, but I’ll cry over the stupidest, most insignificant, unimportant things?
  • I don’t have any one hobby that I’m committed to, I like to try things for a while, then I get bored and move on?
  • I always fall way too hard and too fast for all the wrong people?
  • I only like peanut butter when it’s melted on hot toast?
  • I’m still convinced that life can be like a RomCom….even though experience has taught me it’s not true?
  • I believe that small gestures mean more than huge displays?
  • I could be perfectly happy watching the same dozen or so movies all the time….do you know what they are?
  • some days I miss dancing and swimming more than I can say?
  • I get really obsessed with new things once I learn them?
  • sometimes, I just wish a guy would love me the way guys love girls in country songs.
  • I try and view everything as an opportunity to grow, even when it feels like everything is going wrong?

Chapter 5: The Dare

Every once in awhile……you do something sorta stupid.  This tale of stupidity, otherwise known as My Life with the Vinyl Enthusiast, starts with a semi drunk dare in a bar.

The Background:

My people and I were out celebrating the bestie’s hubby’s birthday one night a few months ago, and she dared me to do something I stupidly suggested.  (The actual phrasing of the dare is a bit non-politically correct, and I don’t need this to be that kinda blog, so I shall rephrase slightly.)  The bestie basically dared me that I wouldn’t go up and ask a decently attractive dude, “Hey! Do you wanna dance and fight chics with me?!?!”  So….I did…..cuz it seemed like a reasonably good idea at the time.  And…. it was a reasonably good idea on how to spend a semi tipsy night at the bar! (The bestie still owes me a prize for performing the dare…..!!)

The Research:

The downfall of this came a several months later.  So, the Vinyl Enthusiast invites me out on a date.  By the time of the date, the bestie and I, in the course of our stalking discovered that he was divorced with kids……which is ya know……not on the list!  We had also discovered the reason for his nickname to which my intial thought was, “OF COURSE HE’S A VINYL ENTHUSIAST”  In a show of being open minded, and therefore more adult, I decided to go on this date.

High Fidelity.....great movie, and it becomes slightly amusing when you're life becomes dating a real like John Cusack!

High Fidelity…..great movie, and it becomes slightly amusing when you’re life becomes dating a real life John Cusack….I’m not kidding he sorta looks like John Cusack……but he’s got better hair!  The Enthusiast’s life could be this movie!

So, the first date was fine.  The second date also seemed alright……until I asked the apparently dreaded, “How old are you?” See bestie and I realized that he was older than us, which again is….fine….to a point, we just didn’t know how old.  Guys are tricky in that they have a strange ability to look much younger than they actually are.

I have a friend who knows the Enthusiast socially, and she claimed that he was “like maybe 38”.  That seemed ok….I could have rolled with that I guess.  It really did seem okay until I discovered that HE’S 41!!!!!  Luckily, I was somewhat wine tipsy when he broke the news, so I think I managed to stifle the shock and awe face fairly well…..although maybe I didn’t…..the jury is out on this.

The Results

Now……no need to panic, I’ve done that for you!  I’ve also compiled a list of reason why it might, at first glance, seem okay to date a 41 year old.

  • He owns a home and has a job!
  • He owns a super sexy, old school, muscle car.
  • You can carry on intelligent conversations.
  • He possess good dating skills….like manners, an ability to dance, and if he invites you over for dinner he’ll buy you flowers.
  • You generally live life what a motto similar to “Hold my beer, and watch this!”  What’s the worst that could happen!?
I mean I'm not a huge fan of red cars, but..... when this rolls up in your driveway, a girl stops and takes notice!

I mean I’m not a huge fan of red cars, but….. when this rolls up in your driveway, a girl stops and takes notice!

Those all seem like legitimate reasons to give something a chance…..so under bestie’s advice, and in defiance to my mother’s looks of cautious disapproval….I gave it a chance……and this is what I discovered.

  • There’s really nothing wrong with the fact that he has a house and a job……
  • His muscle car was a teenager when I was born…..more to the point……HE WAS A TEENAGER WHEN I WAS BORN!  This won’t always be apparent, but you have to stifle the urge to tell him not to parent you…..it can’t end well.
  • You maybe be able to have conversations, but they will be few and far between because he has parental responsibilities.  Even being a divorced, part time parent takes up a huge amount of time….I had no idea really.  Also, after a certain amount of time, one should ask about the wee tottlets, even if one has no desire to know much about them.  That’s just polite after all!  If you don’t ask, they will just volunteer info anyway….it’s a lost cause.
  • His good dating skills and manners will cause him to have existential crises about that status of your relationship.  This can be confusing to a twenty something who was pretty sure that “going on dates” didn’t qualify one for:
    • Meeting the children
    • Titling the relationship
    • Having generally any sort of concern about the “state of the relationship”
    • Expecting any sort of scheduled time commitments from the other person

The Conclusion:

Now, I’m clearly not a dating expert, and I believe that if you’re dating the same kinds of people all the time, you’ll probably get the same results.  Didn’t Einstein say something along that line!??  I think he did…..anyway.  I support change and the desire to try something new.  I also believe if you’re gonna go……it should be big or you should go home.  However, I would suggest based on the evidence that maybe the 27:41 age gap is a bit too much gap.  Idk, maybe that’s just me…..

Side Note

It’s shaping up to be a pretty epic party weekend around here.  Expect another picture blog to document the adventure!

Makeup Shaming….Could We Just Stop Please!?

I know I’ve already written a blog that vaguely addressed this issue, but since it’s become popular again I decided to revisit the issue.  I’m not sure what everyone’s problem with makeup is lately, but they should probably just get over it! People have recently started #makeupshaming on Instagram, and the other night I was bored and decided to lend my face to the cause.  The basic premise is that women can use makeup as a tool to present themselves however they want to the world.  Granted, my phone takes horrible pictures, and I’m in no way a professional makeup artists, but here’s me with and without makeup.  Equally fine either way, but sometimes you just want a contour and some fake eyelashes!

Should have maybe gone with a colored lip....but I do love me a good nude lippy!

Should have maybe gone with a colored lip….but I do love me a good nude lippy!

Just me!

Just me!

Now I understand men being annoyed about it….I mean let’s be real for a minute.  If a guy wakes up looking like butt, that’s the best he’s gonna look for the whole day.  If I wake up wearing the battle scars of the party the night before, I can fix that shit.  A little bit of concealer and some mascara go a long, long way my friends!  (I would argue that guys always wake up good looking…..it’s magic/science/voodoo that I do not and will never understand) PS- I’m not saying guys can’t or shouldn’t wear makeup….you do you boos!  Generally speaking, makeup is more popular with women….that’s all I’m saying!

....I really think this face speaks for itself....

….I really think this face speaks for itself….

Women bashing other women for running around in makeup is something I can’t understand.  We all face enough problems in life without having to deal with crap from each other about eye shadow!  Can’t we all just rally together and be supportive?!?!  If I get up and put on makeup every day I do it for myself….it’s my me time, my chance to make myself into the best self I can be that day, and my time to drink coffee and dance to Pandora in my bathroom!  If I don’t put makeup on, it’s because I slept in….or I just didn’t care….or I slept in because I didn’t care.

Don't hate the player....hate the game! #makeupshaming #samepersondifferentmood

Don’t hate the player….hate the game! #makeupshaming #samepersondifferentmood

I was told I was too vain the other day, because I showed up for a bike ride with straight hair and makeup on.  Earth to the world….I didn’t get all glammed up to workout, but I’m certainly not gonna take the time to un-glam to work out either.  I look the way I look on the daily because I wanted to look that way.  Yes, it might be because I want to make a good impression, in this case it was because we were being audited at work.  I run errands with or with out makeup…..my life is my life, and my makeup is something I use to accent that life when I want to.

On an unrelated side note….I went on a date last night….it seems promising….I’ll keep you posted! 🙂

I Didn’t Get This Far Just By Looking Good

I don’t remember a lot of specific details about my Dad’s mom.  I have memories for sure, I just don’t really have a firm grasp on her personal character.  She died when I was in 3rd grade after a lengthy battle with cancer.  I have several bones to pick with cancer about it’s continued harassment of my family, but that’s something for another day.  What I do have of my Grandma are the things she left behind: a gorgeous punch bowl, some fancy silver serving pieces which are sprinkled all over my new home, and Irish roots to blame my temper on.  She also left behind an odd little wall hanging that hung beside my bedroom door all through college. It looks a bit like something you might find at a garage sale, or even throw away, but it says something very important to me, “I didn’t get this far just by looking good.” Even though my Grandma didn’t live to see me graduate high school, attend college, and grow into the person I am today, her little wall hanging has stuck in the back of my mind and has my own personal mantra.

I’m always amazed and slightly frustrated when people who meet me come to the “revelation” that I’m a smart girl.  WHY WOULD YOU AUTOMATICALLY ASSUME I’M NOT SMART?!?!  Just because I like makeup and I’m pretty doesn’t mean I’m dumb.  Maybe I’m biased, because I’ve always run with the ‘smart’ crowd, but the only women I know are smart, beautiful, and strong.  None of my girlfriends got to where they are now just because they are pretty!!  Does being pretty help??  Yes..yes it does.  Studies have shown that women who go to job interviews with their hair and makeup done receive higher starting salaries.  Great…..I can deal with that I guess.  Part of being smart is knowing how to leverage yourself and your assets.  Throw on an killer bra, some good lipstick, feel good about yourself, and go get those jobs!  I support this, but what I don’t support is people thinking I’m less intelligent just because I can wing my eyeliner.

Clearly we all kicked some Chemistry butt with our make up on and everything!

Clearly, you can rock out lab reports while wearing makeup.  We can’t be the only three to have accomplished that amazing feat!

Two of the toughest girls I know.  I'm proud to call them besties even though they don't run around without makeup on.

Two of the toughest girls I know. I’m proud to call them besties even though we clearly had too much fun with the hair crimper that night!

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