Pop Culture Inspiration

Nothing much exciting is happening this week in my life.  School started again…..barforama to optimization techniques.  So, I’ll have to get after that this weekend while I can more beans and peppers because ya know….I’m obsessed now.

I thought I’d throw together a list of women in pop culture who inspire me.  I have plenty of strong, inspiring women in my every day life, but every once in awhile a celebrity comes along and gives you a little extra boost of inspiration.

Rhonda Rousey

Could we talk about this outfit?!?!? I want it.....gym motivation right here!

Could we talk about this outfit?!?!? I want it…..gym motivation right here!

Should you ever feel like taking the lazy way out in life remember……Rhonda doesn’t have time for DO NOTHING BITCHES!  She says that it’s a term she uses to describe

  the women my mother raised me not to be.”

 I think that’s incredibly important in today’s society.  She sets goals and demolishes them, and that’s something that any mother should want for her daughters.  We don’t all have to win fights in 34 seconds, be rolling in cash money, or become a celebrity to prove you’re worth something.  Getting up everyday and working on the life you’ve made yourself……that makes you a DO SOMETHING BITCH……and that’s the kind of bitch my parents raised me to be.

Khloe Kardashian

Kardashians1-770x1024

Someone’s got to be the tallest one. It’s not a role just anyone can fill!

Yes yes yes….I know some of you are gonna hate me for saying I find a Kardashian to be inspirational.  Just hear me out.  I think it’s important that girls of every shape, size, color, and height have someone to look up to.  For me, Khloe has been that person.  It’s just nice to feel like you don’t have to be a stick figure blonde to get somewhere in this world sometimes.  We tall, curvy, brunette women have to stick together….after all, it can get a bit lonely up here in the clouds.

No matter what, my weight doesn’t define me.”

She’s my reminder that I can be tall and wear heels.  Who cares if I tower over people….it’s a good way for my friends to find me when we are out and about.  Also she’s got sass for days and an epic bitch face!

Nicki Minaj

Can we talk about this dress!?!? Someday I could get married in a less pink version of this!

Can we talk about this dress!?!? Someday I could get married in a less pink version of this!

I’m not generally a huge fan of hip hop music, but sometimes Queen Minaj just gets my jam!  I also think it’s nice that she stresses the importance of education to her fans.  She’s known for promising her fans that they can be anything they want to be, but they need to stay in school.  She also never hesitates to call out the inequalities between men and women.

I stand for girls wanting to be sexy and dance, but also have a strong sense of themselves.  If you’ve got a big ol’ butt?  Shake it!  Who cares?  That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be graduating from college.”

I just want women to always feel in control.  Because we’re capable- we’re so capable.”

Women should be allowed to be as hardcore and sexual as we want, because men do it all the time.”

Ironically, I read on Yahoo! this morning that Nicki Minaj and the Kardashians were voted two of the worst influences for kids by parents.  Whatever, they can still be my role models because I’m not a child anymore!  This is maybe why I shouldn’t have kids…?!??!

Dear Asshole,

Dear Asshole down the street who tried to kick my dog,

There are several things about this interaction that I would like you to know….

1. Please do not interpret my calmness and the simple uttering of, “She’s not a biter,” to mean that I understand your issue.
2. You’ll notice my 80lb dog sitting calming on the sideway with me waiting for you to control your 1lb rat.
3. You’ll notice that when YOUR dog/rat started a fight, I calming removed my dog and put her behind me.
4. You should notice that YOUR dog/rat continued to fight.

If and when this happens again, you should know a few things. My parents raised a lady, but the politeness will not continue. Also, if you attempt to kick my dog again I will punch you, kick you while you’re down, and drop kick your dog/rat across the street.

Thanks!
Scout’s Momma

It’s been a long, long time since I’ve been this mad!

Yet, people want to ban large dogs, and specifically my dog (Rott Mix) because they are too violent.  Never mind that small dogs are known to be generally more vicious…….onward with the stupidity I guess we shall go!

Makeup Shaming….Could We Just Stop Please!?

I know I’ve already written a blog that vaguely addressed this issue, but since it’s become popular again I decided to revisit the issue.  I’m not sure what everyone’s problem with makeup is lately, but they should probably just get over it! People have recently started #makeupshaming on Instagram, and the other night I was bored and decided to lend my face to the cause.  The basic premise is that women can use makeup as a tool to present themselves however they want to the world.  Granted, my phone takes horrible pictures, and I’m in no way a professional makeup artists, but here’s me with and without makeup.  Equally fine either way, but sometimes you just want a contour and some fake eyelashes!

Should have maybe gone with a colored lip....but I do love me a good nude lippy!

Should have maybe gone with a colored lip….but I do love me a good nude lippy!

Just me!

Just me!

Now I understand men being annoyed about it….I mean let’s be real for a minute.  If a guy wakes up looking like butt, that’s the best he’s gonna look for the whole day.  If I wake up wearing the battle scars of the party the night before, I can fix that shit.  A little bit of concealer and some mascara go a long, long way my friends!  (I would argue that guys always wake up good looking…..it’s magic/science/voodoo that I do not and will never understand) PS- I’m not saying guys can’t or shouldn’t wear makeup….you do you boos!  Generally speaking, makeup is more popular with women….that’s all I’m saying!

....I really think this face speaks for itself....

….I really think this face speaks for itself….

Women bashing other women for running around in makeup is something I can’t understand.  We all face enough problems in life without having to deal with crap from each other about eye shadow!  Can’t we all just rally together and be supportive?!?!  If I get up and put on makeup every day I do it for myself….it’s my me time, my chance to make myself into the best self I can be that day, and my time to drink coffee and dance to Pandora in my bathroom!  If I don’t put makeup on, it’s because I slept in….or I just didn’t care….or I slept in because I didn’t care.

Don't hate the player....hate the game! #makeupshaming #samepersondifferentmood

Don’t hate the player….hate the game! #makeupshaming #samepersondifferentmood

I was told I was too vain the other day, because I showed up for a bike ride with straight hair and makeup on.  Earth to the world….I didn’t get all glammed up to workout, but I’m certainly not gonna take the time to un-glam to work out either.  I look the way I look on the daily because I wanted to look that way.  Yes, it might be because I want to make a good impression, in this case it was because we were being audited at work.  I run errands with or with out makeup…..my life is my life, and my makeup is something I use to accent that life when I want to.

On an unrelated side note….I went on a date last night….it seems promising….I’ll keep you posted! 🙂

I’m Not Always A Bitch, It’s Just My Face

Today is a very special day for me.  16 years ago, today was Easter Sunday, and our dog Whisper was born.  Here’s wishing the happiest of Spring birthdays to our very special, old girl!

Happiest of Birthdays to this sweet pupster today!

Happiest of Birthdays to this sweet pupster today!

Alright, so in the interest of full disclosure, I’m sometimes a HUGE bitch. It’s not always in that cute, bratty sort of way either.  I can go full on Queen of the Damned style, eat you alive, bitch when the mood strikes. I have a low tolerance for idiots, and sometimes I just can’t keep myself in check. It takes a lot to make me rage, but if you get there, you had best stay out of my way!  I promise that 95% of the time, I look bitchier than I’m feeling. I have the privilege of processing a bone structure/eyebrow arch combo that gives off a general air of unapproachability. My check bones also makes me look a bit like Pocahontas when I wear bandanas…but that’s just too random to talk about really.

Behold, Mother Bitch Face and her her glorious husband!  #relationshipgoals

Behold, the Queen Mother of Bitchy Resting Face girls and her glorious husband! #relationshipgoals  Even a smiling Posh Spice looks a bit scary.

My Momma tells me often that I tend to look serious and stern. Frankly, she could just the phrase resting bitch face, but alas, she has a more lady like vocabulary than I possess. Although I must admit, I don’t understand the bitch face phenomenon. I can’t help it that I look serious if I’m not cheesing it up.  It’s not like anyone else runs around smiling all the time…we would all look like idiots! Can you imagine a world where everyone was just smiling to avoid looking like a bitch? Think of the wrinkles people! This brings me to one of my favorite memes ever!

My life mantra.....so much money saved on wrinkle creams!

I don’t know who this actress is, but she gets me! My life mantra…..so much  money saved on wrinkle creams!

I’m generally a fairly happy person; I guess I just don’t look like it if I’m not smiling or laughing. I don’t have any pictures of my angry face, but I imagine that’s even bitchier.  Is bitchier even a word?? Or is the correct conjugation more bitchy?!?  At this point, I don’t think it really matters.  It was Audrey Hepburn who said, “….I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls.” Well Audrey, I might be pretty, and I’m usually feeling pretty happy, but I still look like a murderous bitch. Doesn’t really bug me, I think I generally look pretty cute, bitchy or not! To make matters worse, the Bestie also has resting bitch face…..so the pair of us out and about is double the scary! We both like to get all glammed up and strut into our bar of choice Beyonce style. It seems to me like we should still be approachable though! Just cuz I tend to throw on heels and fake eyelashes to go to the bar doesn’t mean I’m a bitch. I just like to look fancy while I’m drinking PBR and throwing darts! No wonder I can’t find a man….we are apparently terrifying the poor creatures! Lucky for her, she’s been married to her husband since they were approximately 12. Bitch face on my lovely! 🙂

My bestie sent this to me this morning, she must be psychik.  I really do think that I look cute and happy.  The reality, is apparently a different story.

My bestie sent this to me this morning, she must be a mindreader!! I really do think that I look cute and happy. The reality, is apparently a different story.

I think the most blatant occurrence of my bitch face ruining my man chances happened in Deadwood.  The bitch faced Bestie, my blond Lil B, and I were hanging out at a bar, just having a girl’s night out. Some random cowboy wanders up next to me at the bar to order drinks. I start talking to him about something, I don’t remember what exactly.  Anyway, he orders two drinks, we keep talking and waiting for the drinks. He gets his drinks, grabs both, turns to me, tells me to have a good night, walks around me, past my bitch faced Bestie, and sets a drink down in front of Lil B. She didn’t even know he had been down next to me!! Hahah some girls have all the luck, and that was apparently not a good night to be a bitch faced brunette.