Chapter 7: A College Dream and the Actual Reality of that Situation

Here it is, after a week delay!

I did write a brief little blurb about this guy in Chapter 6: A Festivus in July – The Airing of Grievances, but I took several chances with this guy that were super out of character for me so it probably deserves some more attention.  Plus, it’s been a long, long time coming.  Pour yourself some wine, cuz we are both gonna need it, and tuck in cuz this is a long one!

Where to start, where to start…….

————————————————-Rewind 9 Years———————————————-

It might not be quite 9 years ago that I first saw the Sig, but at some point I saw him at college, and decided he would be mine.  Ya know in The Notebook when Noah first sees Allie and just like decides she’s gonna be his??  I was sorta like that with the Sig, except that I never worked up enough courage to do anything about it.  I’m not sure that we ever even spoke when I was in school!!  I would see him often, particularly junior and senior year because….I partied at his fraternity more and he used to walk past my apartment to get to campus.

Those were always the best days!!  The Sig, in his baseball cap, nice jeans, and boots…..and me……gawking and drinking my coffee while being all girly crush like on the inside.

Actually speaking to the Sig was my personal equivilant of hanging off a ferris obviously I never did it. Which I think says a lot about my level of verbal self control while drunk!

Actually speaking to the Sig was my personal equivalent of hanging off a ferris wheel… obviously I never did it…..which I think says a lot about my level of verbal self control while drunk!  Sober thoughts are not drunk actions for this chica!

The high point of my non existent relationship with the Sig was one night during a blizzard.  I had just been dumped and I was over hanging with the girls.  They decided that the key to fixing my problems was a night of drinking at the frat, so we walked the 2-3 blocks down to the house in cute clothes….cuz ya know the Sig lived there!  To celebrate the snow, the guys had put a couch on skis and were pulling it around the deserted, snow covered streets with a 4-wheeler.  So obviously, we spent most of the night getting covered in snow, whipping shitties through the streets and parking lots on campus.

I imagine when we got back to the house the three of us looked a bit like drowned rats.  I know for a fact that I had eyeliner and mascara running all down my face……super attractive I know!  The guys did eventually take pity on us and let us change into dry clothes…….and you’ll never guess who’s clothes I got!  Haha although I don’t think he spoke to me, and if he did I was so awe struck with the possibility of wearing his sweatpants that I have no idea what he might have said.

If you're gonna do slightly dangerous things, it's best to do them with a Ref and a Traffic Cone. Safety First!!!! For some reason that night we were missing a cone......

If you’re gonna do slightly dangerous things, it’s best to do them with a Ref and a Traffic Cone.
Safety First!!!!
For some reason that snowy night, we were missing a cone……

After the Great Sweatpant Incident, I had no other personal interactions with the Sig until well after graduation.  Yes, I saw him around, but I never got that close to speaking to him again.  He always looked crabby at the parties I saw him at, and it didn’t really encourage interaction.  I have since discovered that the reason he always looked annoyed at parties was because he was always sober.  Kudos to you sir for living in a frat and not drinking!  He decided that school was for school and not for partying, and that’s certainly a commitment I didn’t make.

———————————————-Flash to Summer 2013———————————————–

I was in the hills being a wedding date for my then boyfriend, and who should walk in, but the Sig!  Ugh, I literally could have died.  I was having a shit time at the wedding, the boyfriend was being a huge assface that night, but then in he walked in those fancy jeans, those same boots, and a white button down with perfectly rolled sleeves.

……………hold on please, I’m having an epic flashback…………..

Here's a very blurry picture of a slightly tipsy me at the wedding before I stumbled into the Sig and his glorious country boy goodness.

Here’s a very blurry picture of a slightly tipsy me at the wedding before I stumbled into the Sig and his glorious country boy goodness.

I may have gone as far as telling the boyfriend that I would leave him for the Sig in a heartbeat.  To further enhance the drunk, wedding awkwardness……I most def walked past the Sig, whilst taking off my heels, and just said “Hey, I think I know you?!?!?”……AND JUST KEPT WALKING!!  I’m sure if he did recognize me he thought I was a complete nut job.  He did show up at the post reception party at the only bar in Keystone, and I had to spend the rest of the evening watching him play pool and drink beer while I kept getting abandoned by the boyfriend and subsequently adopted by his best friend.  It wasn’t the best time ever, and that relationship with the boyfriend should have probably ended that weekend.  It didn’t, but that’s a whole different story.

Also, this pic is giving me serious envy of dark haired me…..bring on the fall please!  If anyone has any fall time hair suggestions, lay them on me!


———————————————–Flash to Winter 2014————————————————

I don’t really recall the series of events that inspired me to send the Sig a random, outta the blue Facebook message, but for some reason I thought it would be a good idea.  Because I can’t handle that sorta pressure on my own, I most def wrote the message and then sent it to all of my friends for approval before I sent it to him.  I finally sent the Sig the message the night before I was headed out to the Hills for several days over New Years.  I then proceeded to lie on my bedroom floor while my friends sent me Facebook messages to make my cellphone chime and send me into full on panic attacks!!  

Hey, So I get that this is totally random…but….I’ve had a crush on you forever, and decided that it’s a new year and I should maybe do something about it!?!?! Anyway, I’ll be running around this weekend in the hills. Let me know if you’re up for drinks.

And then…..he wrote back!

You had best believe that I didn’t read that message right away.  There might have been a shot involved….ya know……to better deal with the potential let down that could have occurred.

But, he didn’t let me down!!!!  

It was agreed that we would meet up New Year’s Eve in Deadwood, because we were both going to be there already.  Actually, he didn’t notice us standing in the bar, and I was being a stubborn brat and ignoring him.  By this point I figured that I had maybe put in enough effort to find him, and I didn’t want to give off the “lost puppy” vibe.  So, I wouldn’t have even talked to him except that Lil B went bounding on over and asked if he was looking for me.  I’m sorta glad she did, cuz approximately 5 minutes later, I got a midnight kiss that rivaled even the best romance movie.

We actually ended up hanging out a few more times that weekend, and he did eventually figure out that I had been the “girl in the purple lace dress” at the wedding.  It really sorta felt like everything might actually work out for me on this one, and Chan even started writing the story we would tell our kids and grandkids about how we first met, and our perfect first kiss.  We may have also discussed a wedding reception complete with a first dance song…..because Chan and I are nothing if not hopelessly romantic at heart.  Plus, I was snowed in at her house Superbowl weekend, and it was a topic that needed to be covered.

———————————————-Flash to the Present————————————————

…….and then I had to come back home from the Hills, and it all sorta just went up in flames.  But, it wasn’t a quick burn like pulling off a bandaide and moving on with your life.  It was a long, slow, smolder-y burn that always left just enough hope that everything might end up ok.

It was always sorta ok, until it wasn’t……

It was ok until he started driving to see me, got halfway here, and turned around………

It was ok until I was out there twice, and he was way too cool to come see me……….

It was ok until it had been 8 months and it started to feel like I was acting like a “lost puppy”………..

It was ok until the day I told him I wanted to see him, and he went on a rant about priorities………

It’s ok though, because at the end of the day life goes on, and I learned something about myself.  I learned that I really enjoy red dirt country, and that sometimes I can be brave and do the things that are out of character me.

After nearly a decade, it was totally worth sending the Sig that Facebook message if only to say that I took the chance.  His favorite quote of the weekend we hung out was, “If I’d known you liked me I would have done this a long time ago.”  Well, here’s the thing sir… didn’t….I did!  Even though it didn’t work out, I’m glad I took the chance, atleast now I know that Randy Rodger’s Band and Reckless Kelly are my new country jamz!

I will probably never tell our grandkids about how we first met, our perfect first kiss, or dance to Randy Rodgers at our wedding.  Other than the fact that it ruins Chan’s epic story, it’s ok.  The one weekend and 7 months of texting was enough.  Sometimes it’s better to leave people the way you imagine them to be.