Another One Bites the Dust….or Toilet

As it turns out, I’m not a great fish parent.  I have lost many a 22 cent Walmart goldfish to their watery graves.  I’m not quite sure what I do wrong as a fish parent.  I’m just gonna assume that fish have limited lifespans, and that they just die.

“It’s the ciiiirrrrcccllleee……the circle, of life.”

 

The most recent death was Blackpearl, the betta.  He was proceeded in death by his distant relative Captain Jack.  He is survived by his other distant relative, Bootstrap Bill.  Blackpearl had a rather interesting entrance into my life.  To share that story, I’ll share a little bit about ol’ Captain Jack.

Captain Jack died I think the day after Thanksgiving last year.  He was always such a good betta, slightly angry at you all the time.  He would always swim up to the front of his skull head bowl when you’d walk over to feed him.  He’d puff way up to look like a little badass, and then go full throttle after his food.  And then, he suddenly died.  Lil Sis and I found him floating dead with frosted over little fish eyes.  So, we did the only practical thing, we flushed him.  I’m not sure what else you’re supposed to do with a fish after he’s gone to the great bowl in the sky?  I suppose you could bury him if you’re so inclined, but that’s not really an option on the mostly frozen tundra that is SoDak around Thanksgiving time.

After a few days of mourning, the Bitch Faced Bestie and I went shopping for a new fish.  I settled on a nice sorta iridescent blue/green/purple little man, and in keeping with the pirate theme I named him Blackpearl.  Getting Blackpearl home was maybe more than his little fish self could handle.  The ride across town was uneventful, and Blackpearl hung out, I assume happily, in his cup in the cupholder of the truck.  Events took a drastic downturn upon arriving at home.  The BFB drove, so I had to exit the vehicle on the passenger side….obviously.  What isn’t so obvious is that because my drive way is mostly in the shade, coupled with the fact that I’m too lazy to buy salt, means that I exited the truck onto an ice skating rink.  I generally ignore this fact because when I drive, I park in the garage.  The ice rink alone might have been ok, expect that I was wearing my cowgirl boots….which are not widely known for their ice gripping abilities…..

This series of unfortunate events lead to me loosing my balance, and in the process….launching Blackpearl airborne.  He subsequently landed upside down in his cup…..halfway across my lawn…..in a snowbank.

Now, I’m not an animal expert, but I assume that an event of this traumatic nature would have an effect.  In Blackpearl’s case, I’m a tiny bit sure that the effect was maybe shock and some slight damage to his little brain.  He just didn’t really seem to want to be a fish after that.  I had him 10 months give or take, and in that time I think I only saw him eat once.  He rarely left the rocky bottom of his tank, and didn’t really appear to be living his best life.  To say that when I saw him floating upside down at the top of his tank the other day was a surprise, would be a lie.  Hopefully he’s moved on to a happier bowl, or ya know maybe he just likes chilling on rocks…..who really knows these things.

In any case, I was again left with an empty skull head.  So I went out betta shopping the other night, and brought home a new little man.  I managed to get him safely and uneventfully into the house and into his new home.  He seems quite happy, and has already munched down more food than I think Blackpearl ate in his whole life.  Please note that the photo below doesn’t really do him justice.  In person, he’s a cute pearl/grey with gold tipped fins that he like’s to flare to impress you…..or probably to try and intimidate you….cuz he’s a little badass like that!

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He’s fancy, he’s puffy……he’s Bootstrap Bill!

Chapter 13: The Blog I Thought I’d Never Have to Write

I never thought I’d have to write this blog.  I’ve written blogs like this before, but I never thought I would have to write one about this person…..Main Squeeze…..

 

I wrote the title and the first line 2 months ago, and then I just sat on it.  I waited in the hopes of not burning a bridge, I waited hoping that things would change, and we would get better.  I waited thinking that if you had love everything else would eventually fall into place.  I waited thinking that a connection as strong as and instant as we had had to mean something.

I was wrong

For two months I fought everyday to hold on to feelings and a love that I thought could get us through anything.  I knew I couldn’t make him love me, but he swore that he did, and he promised that a life with me was what he wanted.  He was my person, he was the one I turned to to make things better, and even now I just want him to tell me that things will be ok.

For two months I waited.  Waited to feel like I mattered to him again, mattered more than just a text message, or a random phone call.  Waited for him to decide that he wanted to see me, and that things would go back to how they had always been.  In the moments were it all felt hopeless he would talk to me, and we would talk about how we were feeling and how much we loved each other and it felt like we’d turn a corner…….but the corner was never a corner, just a ring.

For two months we talked everyday.  He told me how much he wanted to fix things and that we were going to work on things to be better together.  And for two months I believed him, I trusted that we wanted the same thing, and I had hope that things would be ok.  After one ruined vacation with him, he told me he wanted to go on vacation with my family, and I trusted him.  I invited him to spend time with my family even though I had never met his.

For two months I poured my whole heart into something that couldn’t have been more of a lie.

Yesterday he told me that he’s no longer in love with me, but that he still loves me.  Yesterday he told me that we have nothing in common, because I don’t love sports the way he does.  Yesterday he told me he no longer could see me in his future, because he doesn’t want to be in a relationship like we had.

In that moment, everything felt like it was crumbling.  I had known things weren’t perfect, and I knew we were nearing the end, but to have it happen all over again was something I just wasn’t ready for.  I had woke up Friday morning knowing that he wasn’t going to come see me for the weekend like he promised. I don’t know how or why any of this caught me off guard and made me feel so helpless, but it did.  To have to listen to him say those things after finding so much comfort the night before in him saying that I was the girl he wanted and that we weren’t fizzling out, it was crushing.

I don’t even know how to feel…..

 

Weekend Fix #1

Lately, I’ve been meaning to clean out the old junk from my closet. I still have shirts in there from highschool….it’s a bit uncalled for! I’m all about using things till they are worn out, but the majority of my closet is getting a bit thread bare, worn out, and just plain out of style.  Maybe it’s because I’m now totally done with school, but I just suddenly feel the overwhelming desire to declutter my life and proceed with being an adult.  Not that blowing your budget on clothes has much to do with being an adult I guess, but you have to start somewhere.

In an effort to jump start the closet revamp project, I decided to order myself a Stitch Fix box.  It just seemed like something fun and new to try.  Stitch Fix has been around quite awhile, and I know people who have used it so it didn’t seem totally hoaxy.  I will say that the online quiz they have you take was maybe slightly less than ideal.  They ask you to rate groupings of multiple outfits, but my problem was I would like parts of each group, but then there would be other pieces in the group that were just horrible.  After the quiz you can link a Pinterest board so that they can look through and see the sorta things you’re into.  My board is mostly hair and makeup, but there are some clothes on there I guess.  You can make requests for what you’d like them to send, so I said I needed some cute tops for wearing on dates and to vacation and some jewelry.  I have such mixed feelings about jewelry…..like I like it, but I never buy it, and if I buy it I never wear it.  I have the best intentions of wearing it always, I just forget or I don’t ever feel like I style them right.  Honestly, if it isn’t something I can put on and leave on for the long term, probably it’s mostly just going to hang out in the closet.

My first box arrived on Friday and I didn’t even open it.  I threw it in the car with the Pupster, and we headed down to the Main Squeeze’s for the weekend.  Saturday afternoon we finally got around to opening the box.  I got a pair of shorts, two tank tops, a romper, and a necklace.  I tried everything on and Main Squeeze helped decided what to keep and what to send back.

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Necklace by Bancroft: It’s cute, but ultimately I decided not to keep it.  Again, it just comes down to styling it.  Typically, most of my jewelry is pretty plain and simple, I’m just not sure what  I would ever pair this with.

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Denim Shorts by Liverpool: These were a weird length, and I wasn’t really a fan of the print at all.  She said she picked these based on outfits on my Pinterest board, but these just don’t really look like me at all.

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Tank top by RD Style: It’s hard to see in the picture but its a thin tan/white stripe.  There wasn’t anything wrong with this top, but it would have needed to be taken in under the arms, and it honestly wasn’t really anything special.  If it had fit better I probably would have kept it, I just didn’t love it enough to want to put the work into making it fit better.

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Tank top by Dex: This was cute, even though I generally wouldn’t have tried it because I’m not a huge fan of crotchet on clothes.  However, it was really short in the front.  There is a sheer band at the bottom, if that had been the solid cotton jersey I probably would have kept it, but it just hit me in a weird spot to be that short.

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Romper by Market and Spruce: This is the only item of the Fix that I’m keeping.  It maybe needs the addition of a belt, but I like it.  It fits well and has adjustable sleeves so it can be more of a tank or have small capped sleeves.

The total price of all the items shipped to me was $254.  If I were to keep all the items I would get a 25% discount as well as a $20 credit.  That makes the total for the 5 items $170.50, which honestly doesn’t seem that bad for what I received.  However, since I’m just keeping that romper that’s $64, but I think the $20 credit is also applied to that.  If you don’t keep any item from you fix they still charge you the $20 styling fee.  The box also comes with styling idea cards and a letter from the stylist about why they chose the items for you that they did.

All in all, I would say that this isn’t a bad idea at all.  Obviously, you probably couldn’t build your whole wardrobe this way, but it seems like a fun way to add a few new pieces into the mix everyone in awhile.  I will probably order another box sometime in the future, but I’m not sure that I would have them send boxes on auto ship.  I also picked up two new dresses and a tank top from TJMaxx that I had Main Squeeze look at, but I think those are all going back also.

Sadly, it hasn’t been the best weekend at Main Squeeze’s.  The neighbor lady across the street backed into my car and smashed the back end pretty good and broke the tail light.  Then, Scout and Jeter were playing in the yard this morning, Scout jumped off the deck stairs and hurt her knee.  So now I have a crumpled car and a very limpy, tripod puppy.  Hopefully her knee will start to feel better soon.  I’m hoping she just twisted it and that she didn’t do any damage.  She tore the tendon in her other knee a few years ago and I bought her a knee brace for it.  Unfortunately, the braces are quite expensive, although it does really seem to have helped her.  Sadly, the knee she hurt this morning was her good knee. 😦  The braces don’t really seem interchangeable, although I did try that this morning.  I’ll give her a few days of rest and hopefully it will come around and be better.  If not I guess I will be calling the vet to get another brace made.

 

Breaking Up is the Hardest Part

Literally and figuratively, my trusted foundation and I are on the outs.  I’m not sure if this is an issue that happens to people with normal skin, if my foundation is just sick of my shit, or if sometimes you just need to switch things up so your body doesn’t become too used to something.

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This…..this is all we want!  Why does it have to be so hard to achieve?!?

I’m really not sure what the problem is or where it came from.  I’ve worn the Bare Minerals powder foundation since….IDK FOREVER!  I probably started using it in high school, and it’s been my go to foundation ever since.  It was obviously working for me here, or I wouldn’t have told you it was my ride or die foundation!  Then, the break up started……  I would put my foundation on like usual, and it would always look really good to start.  About an hour later, disaster would start.  It would slowly start breaking up into chunky awfulness on my face, always just down my nose, around my mouth, and the center of my forehead.  It would start to look like I just had something sitting on my face.  It was drawn to anything that wasn’t my actual face.  Phones, my glasses, Main Squeeze’s nose…..basically it wanted to be anywhere that wasn’t my face!!  Also, it would turn much lighter than my actual skin tone and just generally looked like a hot, hot mess.

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How I look with my makeup going into oil slick breakdown mode.

I headed straight to Sephora, and I tried everything I could think of to get my old foundation to set better.  I have the larger holiday pots, so in an effort to not be wasteful and high maintenance feeling, I was determined to make it work.  I bought primers, brush cleaner, different moisturizer, tried different ways of applying it, using more, using less…..nothing was working.  Luckily, Sephora has a good return policy and they will give you free samples.  It’s a good pro tip if you want to try things or you’re having struggles similar to mine.

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No Ariel….I just want the stuff I have to work!!!  Although I did buy myself two new lip products out of sadness…..NEW SUMMER COLORS!

I did finally bite the bullet and I bought a new foundation.  I’m trying out the new Bare Minerals BARESKIN liquid foundation.  I’m actually really enjoying it, and my skin seems to be enjoying it much more as well.  Even at the end of the day, my face still just looks like my skin, but in the best way possible.  I no longer have a floating oil slick of foundation hanging out on my face.

I do still feel a bit overly dramatic about having multiple varieties of foundation, and soon I’ll have to buy another color for summer.  But, I mean your face is what the world sees and what you see every time you look in the mirror.  If spending a bit of money changes the way you feel about what you see in a positive way, then in my mind that’s money well spent.  I mean…..you know what they say, “Put your best face forward!”  I know the quote is usually feet, but my feet are huge and are always forward even if I don’t want them to be, so I decided to switch it up!

Makeup

 

 

So Yea…..

…..I didn’t get a blog written this week. I meant to, but school and life got the best of me. I thought I could write one while I was in Omaha this weekend, but that got away from me too. So instead, I spent my time hanging with the Main Squeeze, grilling out, and generally being lazy.

Next week I will do better, but I will leave you with this little fun fact. I decided that I was finally adult enough to get to and from Main Squeeze’s house without my GPS. Not that I really know what roads I’m on, but I thought I had a pretty good handle on the overall route. My plan was going well until they decided to close my way outta town. So alas, I had to fire up the map app to get me headed in the right direction. Maybe next time I can make a GPS free trip. Maybe that’s just the hazard of living in the big city!?

Chapter 11: Math has Never Been My Friend

I realize it’s been quite some time since I have written about any of my dating escapades.  There hasn’t really been a particular reason for this, other than the fact that I guess I haven’t been going on as many dates!?!?  I’ve long since given up on all of my online dating apparati.  (Apparently the “correct” plural of apparatus is either ‘apparatuses’ or ‘two pieces of apparatus’……I personally think apparati sounds better so that’s what I’m gonna go with!)  I believe this is the first blog about a guy I actually had a long relationship with.  Of course, long is a relative term, but since all the relationships you’ve read about how been flings or short lived, I’ll consider this to be long.


 

Ahhh college, it’s a great time.  However, it’s also a time where you might make some questionable life choices.  I will be the first to admit that college me made some truly questionable choices.  Probably one of the most questionable……was ADD 3.  I refuse to look back on experiences with regret, because they have brought me to the life I live now.  Despite all my “middle class white girl struggles”, I really am loving my life right meow!!  Honestly though, if I knew that I would end up in exactly the same place I am now if I could just delete those two years from my life….I would.  I’m struggling with how to write this, because it could be quite long, but also because the majority of it was not good or healthy in any way.  I’m going to try and provide just enough background that you can grasp the situation I put myself in, and then I’ll try and just focus on the positive things I learned.

move-on-quote-relationship-text-true-Favim.com-274768Graduating college on the heels of an economic recession isn’t great.  You’ve put in tons of time, money, and energy, and done all the things you’d always been told you were supposed to do to be successful.  The ending result of all this time and money was that I was unable to find a job, despite all my best effort and hours of filling out seemingly identical applications.  I was firmly committed to the belief that moving home would be an admittance of defeat, so I did the next best thing I could think of….I moved in with ADD 3.  I knew the sort of jobs that were awaiting me back home…..essentially nothing.  I wasn’t willing to admit that sort of defeat, so against the wishes of my family….and probably my friends….I soldiered on with my plan.

After about a week, I didn’t want to be there!!  I had already known that ADD 3 had a rather substantial collection of tubs in his basement.  One of the perks of dating a guy with a house in college was that I got to do laundry for free….in the basement…..with the tubs.  Being the nice, unemployed, “housewife” that I was, I thought I would organize the basement!!  Most where garbage……random things….some of his old Army stuff…..and then I found them, TUBS FULL OF VERY NSFW THINGS!!!!!!!!

…………………………………AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH……………….!!!!!!  

Somehow, I let him convince me that it would be ok to stay, that we would work it out, and everything would be fine.  I think part of me gave in to him because I felt like I had worked so hard and upset so many people by moving in with him in the first place that once again….I was unwilling to accept the defeat that would have been moving out.  Something about college me was apparently really into winning at this point….

I eventually got a job where I traveled frequently, so I was around less to put up with his crazy.  Yes….he was crazy.  Granted, I only know ADD 3 as a PTSD suffering Army veteran. I have no idea who he was or what he was like before he served our country and saw the things he saw.  In that sense, I have only the greatest amount of respect for him, his family, and the sacrifices they made.  He discovered that he could win any argument by playing the “Army Card”.  Honestly, there was never anything I could say or do other than sit there and take whatever random insult he had to throw my way because I could never bring myself to say anything back when he’d play the Army card.  You have to remember…..I was younger and stupider then……I’ve grown up a lot….he’s partly to thank.

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This basically continued for a year, until he decided to move to Florida….and I was so relieved.  I packed up all my stuff, and we drove it to my Dad’s house in Sturgis and honestly….I was happy!  I was happy he was moving away, and I was happy that I felt like I had finally found an out.  I really thought everything was going to change for me.  It did…..but at the same time, it didn’t.  I saw him twice more after that moving day in August…..once when he flew to Minneapolis for my birthday that December, and once in the Spring.  I….the girl who was so ready to let go of the relationship, just let him continue to have one with me.  I didn’t really encourage it, but I didn’t stop it either.  I suppose that’s partly to do with being young, and partly because those who are in bad relationships always seem to have a really hard time getting out of them.

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Ok….enough of this seeming like a pity party for me….that’s not at all what I want.  Again, I don’t regret it.  I survived, I’m stronger, and I’m the person I am today because he taught me I didn’t want to be the person he thought I was….AKA a spoiled rotten, Tinker Bell obsessed princess who would never survive on her own because I knew nothing about life.  He had a few positive impacts on my life, and that’s were we will end this….the good things.

  • My relationship with ADD 3 taught me that if you set aside your pride, your family and friends will always be there to support you…..no matter why you think you don’t deserve it
  • He bought me my glorious pupperoni Scout, who has been with me through everything for the past 5 years
  • He introduced me to my fabulous hair stylist who I still drive 6 hours to see
  • He taught me how to play poker…..kinda
  • When I’m told I can’t do something or I’m not worthy of something, it just pushes me to prove them wrong.  So……I guess I should thank him for my new car, paying my own bills, and everything else he ever told me I couldn’t do
  • He introduced me to Korean food…..which is delicious
  • Spicy hot ramen is now a favorite lunch food for one of my UBS girls because of him
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The night we brought my little Scout-a-rooni home from the shelter.  #Adoptdontshop

Murphy’s Law : A Study of Maximizing the Adulting Power Within You

Some weeks, you get to party and drink beer.  Other weeks, you have to put on your big girl pants and power through some extreme adulting activities.  The past couple weeks, basically all week long, has been heavy duty adult activities….and they are exhausting.  I’m not sure how people do it day in and day out honestly, because I feel like I need a vacation from my life.

Let’s start with the biggest and most adulty of my jobs………Fixing My Dead Furnace 

My house was built in 2011.  Since the house is so new, it seemed unlikely that my furnace should have been having issues, but oh did it have issues.  I’m not sure that I could pin point the exact day that the problems started, but I know that I started trying to fix them last Tuesday.

As a somewhat slacky adult, when my furnace started to get….temperamental….I assumed I had just waited too long to change the filter.  So I swapped out the old filter, put new batteries in the thermostat, and was all ready to reward myself for my awesome pro-fixer skills.  However, that didn’t exactly work.  All week my house never got warmer than 64 degrees….it never got much colder than that, but I just couldn’t get it to warm up.  Except Thursday……..for some mystical reason, Thursday everything worked perfectly.  Friday was a different story.  I was up most of the night making sure that the furnace did kick on and that the house didn’t get too cold.  OF COURSE THIS HAD TO HAPPEN ON THE COLDEST DAYS OF THE YEAR!!!!  

Based on the events of the week, I had decided that all I needed was a new thermostat.  Clearly…..the furnace was running since it was basically always 64 degrees.  The thermostat was obviously just not telling the furnace to turn on.  Makes sense right?!?!  Since I also recently got a new iPhone that actually functions like a phone, I decided that I would buy a Nest thermostat.  They are quite expensive, but you can monitor conditions from your phone, and they are supposed to help you save money on your utility bills.  So……Saturday morning, Scout and I drove over to Lowe’s to pick up the new thermostat.  It was super easy to install, and it’s super cute!

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Look at all the cuteness!!!  And…..it lights up when you walk past!!!! 🙂

Once again, I was ready to celebrate my victory over the furnace, however once again I was wrong.  I spent most of Saturday swinging the emotional spectrum of hopefulness every time the furnace kicked on to near tears when I somehow managed to kill all the electricity to my loft.  I did manage to restore power to the loft, so that small crisis was averted.  In between the mood swings I called an HVAC company…..who told me to call Nest.  I spent an hour on the phone with Nest tech support while they attempted to figure out if I had a power sharing issue or a furnace issue.

During my time on the phone with Nest, I learned a couple things

  • No one who isn’t a native South Dakotan knows how to properly pronounce Pierre, and they are amazed we all already know there is a river there
  • Furnace issues seem to take a lifetime to resolve
  • People from Texas equate loosing heat in a SoDak winter tobloosing AC in a Texas summer.  While I can appreciate the crappiness that would be a Texas summer without AC, loosing heat on a day where the high temperature was 3 degrees above zero is a whole different can of worms!  I’m still not sure he understands that it was less about my physical self being cold, and more about the potential need for a HVAC tech and a plumber if my pipes had frozen!
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Do you see that outside temp?!?!  Bring on the cold people!

I did eventually get the furnace fixed after another call back to the HVAC company and a hefty bill for a weekend repair call.  I even made it down to Momma’s in time for dinner with my cousins and fam!  The moral of this story kids……just give up hope that you can fix the problem and call the HVAC company…..during the week….so you avoid the extra charges.

Moving down the ladder of difficult adult activities……HOA Board Member Meeting

For some reason this fall, I decided that I should embrace some adulting.  I’m not sure what exactly inspired this need to boost my responsibilities, but I volunteered myself to be a member on the board of my HOA.  Honestly, no one in the association knows me, so I’m a little shocked that I even ended up being voted in.  There were several of us up for election, and somehow I’m who made the cut.  Earlier this week we had our first meeting, and once again….I discovered some things.

  • I’m what rounds to half the age of all the other 6 board members
  • If you want to be part of the drama in the association, you need to live in the middle not on the end
  • Doesn’t matter how much you think you suck at adulting….atleast you’re not the guy who drove through his garage door!  ……yes this is an actual thing that happened somewhere in my association!
  • My outdoor Christmas decorations were a big hit around the association…..score one for Momma MisHappenings!

The meeting took two hours, most of which was just random gossip and drawing conclusions about new insurance quotes we have yet to receive.  After the meeting, I picked up dog food and ice cream…..because Scout’s gotta eat, and I deserved a treat!  Yay for small victories in adulting.

The final struggle……Vehicle Registration

Last year, I waited till the absolute last minute to register my vehicle.  I actually ended up putting the new stickers on my car late.  I know I was late because I put them on after the Super Bowl.  I don’t pay a ton of attention to football, but I’m pretty sure the Super Bowl is in February….and my car is supposed to have new stickers by January 31st…..OOOPSY

This year I did manage to get registration done…..10 whole days early!  I no longer live where the county offices are, so this involved taking an hour or so off work yesterday.  For me it doesn’t really matter, but not everyone can just scamper away from work because they all the sudden remember that vehicle registration needs to be done.  I really think that they should stay open late like one night a week.  I mean I know they are all government employees, but honestly…..some of us have less cushy jobs!  It wouldn’t normally be awful, but we all had to get new actual license plates this year.  I’ve now lost the only license number I’ve ever had!  Those old plates had seen me through all my cars, high school, college, buying a new home, and nearly a masters.

True to form, I bought the plates and put the stickers on, but I have yet to put them on the car.  Meh…..I’ve got 10 days!