The Stuff of Sunday Mornings

This is the first weekend I’ve spent at home in quite some time.  I’m not sure I could tell you when I last spent a Saturday and Sunday at my house.  You would think that with the massive list of projects and things I’m supposed to be doing I would have hit the ground running this weekend, but you’d be wrong.

Here’s what I was supposed to get done this weekend…..

  • Shopping
  • Bridal Shower
  • Homework
  • Test prep
  • Hang light fixture in hallway
  • Clean the house
  • Christmas presents

Here’s what I actually did…….or might get done……

  • Shopping
  • Wine drinking and banana cream pie eating
  • Bridal Shower road trip with bestie
  • Attempting to not body check the slow moving masses at Hobby Lobby
  • Homework
  • Dog Walk
  • Eggplant Parmesan
  • Hours of Hulu while making a necklace and bumming with the dog
  • Pass up going out drinking with Bestie because we were both too lazy to get dressed….#thestruggleisreal
  • Stood up for a date (maybe that’s not the right term, but it was sorta planned and he like double booked me….)
  • Coffee Drinking
  • Blog
  • …..test prep…..need to motivate
  • …..light fixture…..maybe
  • …..shower……debatable although should be done
  • …..wash make up brushes….possibility
  • …..plan Thanksgiving dinner……need to get on that shiz!

I know we all think that time moves too quickly, and I know that you only get one life and you should live it, but sometimes living it up is exhausting!  I really should get motivated for the day….ya know…the stuff on the list.  Take a shower, wash my makeup brushes, finish my test prep, clean my house…..ugh it all just seems like such a struggle.  Is this just part of being an adult?  Where all we want is to drink coffee on the couch with our dogs, but meanwhile the world around us is just piling up a list of “important” things we are supposed to be doing!?

I just want to Netflix and Craft….is that too much to ask!?!?!?

I think mostly I’m just over being in school and I would like to move onto the festive Christmas spirit.  The spirit has been a bit squashed due to the fact that Menards is no longer carrying their super amazeballs garland.  I need more of that garland!!!  I’ve got a house to decorate now…..and houses need garland!  Speaking of garland, when is an appropriate time to start decorating?  Last year I had all the plain garlands up for Thanksgiving……I just feel like they make the house feel cozier.  Maybe it’s a bit different because most of my garlands are just plain with pine cones and like cinnamin sticks.  Nice, but they don’t like scream Christmas in like a Grizwald sorta way.

I love me some Christmas lights....but you can for sure go too far.

I love me some Christmas lights….but you can for sure go too far.

Well….I have more I could write about, I should fill you all in on my trip to the Hills, but we all know the to do list isn’t going to wait.  Shower time for me, and a better blog coming next week!

Chapter 8: Where Have all the Cowboys Gone

Oh Paula Cole….I’m not sure what the answer to this question was in the 90’s when you released this song, but after my experiences the past few months, I’d have to say the answer is most certainly to Fuckboy Island.  (Although it’s a bad island cuz they all keep escaping and ruining lives)  Apparently, the mystical, romantic, John Wayne cowboys I grew up watching on the Western channel with my Grandpa have long since been replaced with douche canoes!  That seems to be the general feeling among my girlfriends anyway……

Here’s a little 90’s jam to get you in the mood!

I promised last week that I would write about getting “dumped” although as you’ll come to find out, that probably isn’t the technical term one should use to describe the situation.  The more correct term is that I got played….and I got played hard.  This, my friends, is a story about trust and gut feelings….and why you should always trust your gut.  First impressions rarely ever lie, and if something doesn’t seem right, odds are it isn’t right.  I however, being the eternal hopeless romantic and delusional optimist that I am regarding relationships, chose to ignore mine for quite some time.

This ignorance on my part has lead to the final chapter in the saga that is The Asshole Tinder Cowboy.  This is going to be a long one, I’m sorry, but I have a lot I feel like I need to try and get off my chest.

I really don't have trust issues, but as someone who trusts that people are good even when I shouldn't, you learn this lesson early and often. The key is not letting the assholes get you down.

I really don’t have trust issues, but as someone who trusts that people are good even when I shouldn’t, you learn this lesson early and often. The key is trying not to let the assholes get you down.

THE REFRESHER COURSE

First things first, let me remind you about my previous feelings regarding the ATC.

Things started off with these feelings of generalized annoyance…..

Random guy who lives in the Hills starts talking to me on Tinder.  This leads to him calling me to chat.  During one of our chats he starts fighting with me about how horses are so much better for moving cattle than 4-wheelers………and this is his life………and “They’ve done studies…you’re into science you should understand that!”  hahah…..yup cuz being a jerk straight outta the gate makes me wanna date you sir.

Shame though, he’s 6’4″ and smokin’ hot!” —  Chapter 6: A Festivus in July – The Airing of Grievances

and were quickly followed up by this lovely gem……

Post date, I maybe should retract what I said about the Tinder Cowboy a couple weeks ago……horses are his life and I should maybe not be such a judge-y bitch face all the time……more about that on another day hopefully.  He was actually very nice, and still super smokin’ hot good looking!”  #Sturgisorbust

Looking back, and knowing the things I know now, I want to give Chapter 6 me a high five and a prize and smack Sturgis me upside the head.  However, like they always say, hindsight is 20/20, so I’ll try and fill in some of the middle to connect you from July to two weeks ago.

STARTING OUT

The ATC and I didn’t have the best relationship straight out of the gate as you’ve may have sensed.  But, after I met him for dinner out in Sturgis, things did really start to come around.  It was at this point that I started to feel a bit concerned about things.  What exactly was I going to do with a cowboy who lived way out in the middle of bum fuck no where?!?!  Can one have a relationship with someone you meet on Tinder?!?!  Why was he talking to me, a girl living no where near him, of all people?!?!  This led to lots of conversations with the Besties…..because I can’t make these decisions on my own ever.  He did seem genuinely interested though, and everyone was sort of on the consensus that I should just let it ride for awhile and see what happened.  After all, there wasn’t really any harm in talking to him…..if it fizzled so be it.

The ATC and I talked everyday….I mean literally every day!  The part that really struck me like this might actually be soemthing serious was that if he knew or thought I was upset about something, he made me talk to him.  Even if I was upset about him, he always made sure that we talked about it.  No one I’ve ever dated had really ever done that before.  I know it seems like an important and normal thing, but for me it was new….and this will give you some insight into the level of jerk that I usually end up dating.

The ATC did cute things too….he’d randomly call me on Skype in the morning when I was getting ready for work so “we can have coffee together before you leave”….stuff like that.  Idk….it’s seems stupid and sickening now given the things I know, but at the time it felt cute, and like what someone who cared about you would do when they live 7 hours away.  I’m really a sucker for cute, little gestures, I think they speak louder than big, grand things that everyone can see…..but I mean clearly in this case I was so, so wrong.

THE WARNING SIGNS

Things got a bit weird in September.  There had been discussions, lots of discussions, about him coming to visit me for a weekend in September.  Since this was planned, I kept putting off the “Hey, maybe if we are together you should get your ass off Tinder” conversation because I thought it might go better in person.  Also, it felt a bit hypocritical to say something about it because the only reason I knew he was on Tinder was because I was obviously still on Tinder.  Everyone seemed to agree that if he like manned up and put his money where his mouth was so to speak we could have the Relationship Talk.  Eventually, these plans fell through because according to him someone had quit the ranch and he couldn’t get a Saturday off anymore.  Well, one night I was feeling particularly pouty about the whole “the guy I like is still on Tinder” thing, and in his standard fashion he made me talk about it.  Part of this talk involved him bringing up that he wasn’t seeing anyone else and that he didn’t want me to see anyone else either.  Remember the fact that HE BROUGHT IT UP…..this will become part of the confusion!

We didn’t talk for a few days in September at all, because he “needed time to think”.  We had a three hour phone conversation one night about where things were going (which included the Tinder issue), and I believed that he was sincere.  After all, if you didn’t want to talk to me anymore, I live several hours away and realistically I’d never see him again unless we planned it.  I would be the easiest girl to slow fade on if you wanted to ditch someone, and there were several times were I gave him the opportunity to leave free and clear….but he never did.  Even during the 3 hour phone call, I kept asking if he just wanted to not talk to me anymore….like would that just be easier for us both…..and he kept saying that he didn’t want that.  In hindsight I have no idea why he didn’t want that…..probably the answer is just that he’s a world class asshole!

We did start talking again because in his words, “I don’t know what I want exactly, but I know I don’t want to not talk to you.”  Again, I believed him, because relationships…especially long distance ones….are confusing and take a lot of work.  Turns out that he probably didn’t want to talk to me that weekend because he was having friends….AND HIS GIRLFRIEND……up for his birthday.  I had noticed a girl commenting about how she was “excited to see his face!!” on Facebook, but I let it go because I didn’t want to be jump to conclusions girl.  Plus, she was friends with his mom and sister on Facebook and super chatty with them, so I thought maybe she was just a girl he knows….I mean he’s allowed to know girls….I’m not that sort of girl.  I even straight up asked him if we hadn’t been talking because of another girl, and he got all “that’s how you’re going to connect those dots?!?!” on me about it……

It really takes a special kind of asshole to pull all the things the ATC did.

It really takes a special kind of asshole to pull all the things the ATC did.  Kudos to him I guess for keeping us all juggled properly though….seems like a shit load of work to be honest.  I never got a text that was out of place or meant for someone other than me.  Believe me when I say I’ve been around the block with the signs of cheating, and this was pretty free and clear of those signals……….

SLAP BACK TO REALITY

I had been needing to take a trip out West River anyway, my hair is in need of some serious High Maintenance Salon TLC.  So I found a weekend where the ATC wasn’t busy working, and scheduled myself a hair appointment.  The plan was that I’d spend some time in Rapid with friends, and then spend part of the weekend up on the ranch with him.  HE MADE PLANS WITH ME….UGH!!!!!    I was just sitting at work the other week being all excited and antsy to go see him when something popped up on Facebook that changed things.

I didn’t go looking for any of this, after all I was really trying to be trusting and I believed that he was sincere.  He might have been, but he was also being super sincere with his girlfriend….the Rodeo Princess.  I don’t mean that in a bad way, it’s just that creeping informed me that she is in fact a rodeo princess.  She’s actually the same girl that I had weird feelings about over his birthday when we stopped talking, and that he totally denied.  The only reason I found out about any of this Behind the Scenes action was that she had posted several things about the ATC on Facebook, and because he commented on them, they happened to appear in my feed.  Thank goodness, because as much as it was a slap in the face, he was just going to let me come see him like I was the only girl for him.

THE FALLOUT

I’ve been cheated on a lot in my dating life, sadly for me that’s nothing new.  However, I have never….ever been the “other women”.  I make a point to avoid that at all costs because I know how shitty being hurt by someone that you trust is.  After sending a Facebook note to the Rodeo Princess and fielding an “I’m so sorry I fucked up” phone call from the ATC I discovered that I was in the fact the other women.  The ATC and the Princess had been together since APRIL she informed me.  To her credit, she was very polite to me about the whole thing, and didn’t blame me for any of it.  Not everyone would have been like that I don’t think.

Her relationship status is now single, but she’s still friends with the ATC and his family on Facebook.  I promptly deleted him because I don’t need that sort of shit in my life dragging me down.  If she wants to keep his cheating ass be my guest.  Here’s the thing Princess…..if he was faithful and decent to you he would have never met me on Tinder, and he certainly wouldn’t have started a relationship with me.  I’m sure I’m not the first girl he cheated on you with, and I’m pretty sure I wasn’t the last.  Also, I’m not sure that “being more cowboy than you thought” is a good reason to be a complete scum bag……but he’s all yours darling, I don’t want him.  

THE RANT

Here’s the thing Asshole, no one….and I mean no one on the face of the planet…..has ever woken up one day and been like “oops….look at all the girlfriends I accidentally collected….I have no idea how this happened!”  You don’t get to sit there on the phone and play the “I’m confused, I’m sorry I fucked up, and I didn’t mean to hurt you” card…..only Ronald Weasley gets to look that confused about what’s happening, because he’s adorable and not an asshole.  You sir…..are no Ron Weasley!!

How did I collect all these women?!?!”–No one ever

I don’t care about how fucked up and shitty your life was before you left home.  It makes no difference to me that your mom is on crazy pills and your dad is a drunk cowboy.  Also I’m throwing the bullshit flag on girls never noticing you and that giving you anxiety….you’re too good looking for girls to ignore honestly.  If you play with people’s emotions you don’t get to throw a pity party for yourself!  If the only things you’re capable of saying are dumb lies, I don’t care to hear it.  If you understand that your life has been so awful, rise above it and do something!  Everyone has problems, issues, and a past, I for one, strive not to be defined by mine.  

Also…there’s no way you can be sorry.  You’re not sorry you were trolling around on Tinder in July and found me, you’re not sorry you didn’t end it any of the times when I was having weird feelings about the whole situation, you’re not sorry that it when too far……YOU’RE ONLY SORRY YOU GOT CAUGHT!  The most sickening, confusing, and assholish thing to me is that you were going to let me come see you!  When I called to say that we hadn’t been talking as much as we used to, and things felt weird, and that I didn’t know if I wanted to come up and stay with you….you got mad at me, and told me that you didn’t know how I could feel that way and that you just wanted to see me and blah blah blah blah blah.

The worst part is that I wanted so much to believe you.  I told my coworker that you were either the least assholish guy I knew or you were going to be the biggest asshole on the planet.  I didn’t see how there could be any grey area.  So thank you for proving me right!  You ended up not only being not the person I thought you were, but the worst incarnation of the person I was hoping you weren’t.  Everything that spewed out of your gorgeous face was a huge lie.  As much as you sat on every phone call, Skype date, and texting exchange and told me how sincere you were about everything….you weren’t.  There’s no way you could have been.  My all time favorite was when, on several occasions, you flat out told me “I’d never lie to you”.  Well….you did….for months!

THE AFTERMATH

This isn’t the first time a relationship has fallen apart, and it probably will not be the last.  It is kinda the first time that something like this has just come up and slapped me across the face though.  I will be the first to admit that I had done a fair amount of creeping around and trying to investigate things and I never really found anything…..other than the Rodeo Princess stuff I talked about.  He was always so willing to talk about everything that it seemed like a lot of undo effort if he was trying to hide something.

I’ll never understand, and that’s the part that bugs me the most.  My analytical personality just doesn’t like loose ends, problems I can’t solve, and issues I can’t resolve.  The whole experience has left me feeling just a bit blah.  I’m not sad, I’m not even really angry.  I’m hurt and I feel a bit like an idiot.  I think it hurts the most because even though I didn’t know him long, I felt like I could just be myself around him.  I don’t often have that feeling with the people I date, which is probably why my relationships never work out.  The bestie always says if I can’t talk to the guy the way I talk to her it isn’t meant to be.  For all the ATC flaws…..and basically all he is is flaws, I at least felt like I could be totally myself when I talked to him.  If I was upset, I could be upset….and he understood that.  I think that’s probably why it hurts the most, because I really did try and be open and honest with him even though it made me nervous, and he just sorta threw it all back in my face.

Don’t think for one minute that I’m going to let the ATC ruin my upcoming West River weekend!  Plans have been adjusted, and the hair change I planned might end up being a bit more dramatic now, but honestly, it might be a bit more fun now!  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind a little time on a ranch, but if I’m honest with myself that’s never a life I’m going to live.  It would have ended eventually, and probably better sooner rather than later.  I had an epic life before the ATC, and it can only get better from here!

At the end of the day....this. Every hour of everyday....just this!

At the end of the day….this. Every hour of everyday….just this!

The Goings On

For the past month or so I’ve been chronically sick.  What seemed to start off as a chest cold morphed into what I thought was allergies over the course of like 4-5 weeks.  Last Friday, when I woke up and felt like I had a 100lb weight on my chest again, I finally decided to go to the doctor.  I pay a ton of money every month for health insurance, but I never just go to the doctor.  However, when feeling like crap had started to become my new normal I decided I had had enough.

A couple blood tests and one hour later turns out I have a “moderate to severe” case of walking pneumonia.  I finished up my meds today, and I have to say I’m not sure that I’m feeling better.  Don’t get me wrong, I feel WAY better than I did, but I still feel like I have crap in my chest.  I’m not sure how good someone is supposed to feel once the meds are finished.  This is probably do to the fact that I never go to the doctor and get meds to begin with.  I did however manage to get through two of my normal workouts at the gym this week, and last night I slept all night without the help of NyQuil….so I’m hopeful that things are looking up!

quote-it-says-on-the-back-of-the-nyquil-box-may-cause-drowsiness-it-should-say-don-t-make-denis-leary-17-7-0735

You know you’re sick when you are coughing so hard you wake up out of the NyQuil coma and lay in bed watching the Corpse Bride on Netflix while your fingers tingle. Side note, I love Dennis Leary!

In more exciting news, I ordered myself a new pair of ‘nerdy chic’ glasses.  In related buzzkill news….they were supposed to arrive Saturday AND ARE STILL NOT HERE!!!!!!  I have about as much patience as a toddler on Christmas in these sort of situations.  To make matters worse, according to the tracking website there were supposed to have been delivered yesterday……I just want my new glasses!!!!!  I keep planning epic outfits to go with my new glasses and they keep being wasted on the fact that the glasses aren’t here!!!

I got “dumped” this week, so I have a new dating story to share, and hopefully I’ll get that written up next week before I head out to the hills on a mini vacation.  Actually, the mini vacation was partially the asshole’s doing, but check yourself before you wreck yourself if you think I’m gonna let some random douche canoe’s assholishness ruin my epic plans with friends!

This just made my life and totally fixed my week!  Mostly because I was unaware that anyone other than my Chanchan called anyone a Douche canoe!  My heart is so happy now!!

This just made my life and totally fixed my week! Mostly because I was unaware that anyone other than my Chanchan called anyone a douche canoe! My heart is so happy now!!

That’s sorta all I’ve got.  It’s been a bit of a blah week and for sure not the best week I’ve had.  Like everything, it could always be worse, and everything will sort itself out and get better.

Crazy Pills: A Synopsis of My Week

This week has been nutz……I’m busy at work, and I’ll be gone for work basically all of next week.  This is less than ideal because I actually have work that needs to be done in the lab!  This isn’t always the case, but I didn’t get a say in when the laboratory conference was scheduled….so plants are just gonna have to wait on data I guess.

Yesterday, in an effort to get as much done as possible I spent basically the entire day in the lab.  Usually I enjoy this, but everyone else was in the lab too and my phone battery died so I had to spend several hours without any tunes.  By the end of the day, I was exhausted and felt like I had been on crazy pills all day.  Then it was home to clean and do homework…..oh, the never ending joys of trying to adult.

Bright side is….LIL B IS COMING TO VISIT!!!!!!!!!!!!  Actually, she should arrive in about an hour.  So, a three day weekend and some fun shenanigans are in store for me!!!!!!!  I honestly don’t really know what we are doing, and frankly I don’t care.  There will be friends and wine….I don’t really care what happens after that.

I feel like I’ve been oddly adult this week.  Sometimes stress causes me to actually motivate and get stuff done!  I finally got around to working on scheduling my PEO chapter’s Christmas party, and I submitted my program of study for graduate school.  Assuming it’s approved…..IDK why it wouldn’t be….I’ll be done with grad school after the spring semester.  It’s about time!

The Gainz Killing Sick Week

It hasn’t been a real exciting week around here.  I’ve been dealing with a chest cold for about a week.  Mostly I’m just getting crabby and pouty because I wake up every night coughing.  I’m being a huge baby about the whole thing, and have skipped several of my usual gym dates.  I mean, I know it could be way worse, but I’m just over the coughing thing.

I’m never sure how sick is too sick to justify skipping a workout.  Does anyone know?!?!  I just know that I’m experiencing severe “skipping” guilt which I think finally means that I’ve gotten myself into shape.  Or at least gotten myself into a healthy habit!

This is usually my every week problem....this week not so much. Side note, Burpees Suck has some really cute workout clothes if you're in the market for such things. Check them out!

This is usually my every week problem….this week not so much. Side note, Burpees Suck has some really cute workout clothes if you’re in the market for such things. Check them out!

Since I’m not feeling up to my usual workout routine, I thought maybe I would write about it.  Sorta a “workout by osmosis”!  Is that a thing?!?!  Idk….I’m making it a thing!

After my last break up about a year and a half ago, I did that thing single girls do where we decide we are gonna work out and become super sexy and amazeballs and really just “show him what he’s missing”.  So…..I joined a new gym in town called Form Fitness.  I really love it.  Having been a dancer and a swimmer, I’m used to working hard in classes, with people, and not having to hang out in a traditional gym setting on the machines.  Form is all classes: rowing, pilates, yoga, barre amped, trx…….it’s all good and it’s all fun.  Plus, Form comes with that added benefits of cute boutique shopping, and the people there are all really nice.  Working out sometimes sucks, but it sucks less if you’re doing with people you like!

So…..my “normal” workout week looks something like this:

Monday – Row and Flow or TRX at noon, Row and Core at night

Tuesday – Barreamped and maybe biking 19 miles after work

Wednesday – TRX at noon, sometimes biking, and Restorative Yoga (if I make it) at night

Thursday – Yoga Sculpt

Friday – Barre and Flow

Saturday – Maybe a class, maybe a run……if I’m in town and not hungover!

Sunday – General laziness and Restorative Yoga at night if I’m in town.

I know it kinda seems like a lot, but it works for me.  I only bike one night a week, usually whenever Pimp Money has time, although the biking season around here is starting to dwindle.  If I start to feel sore in one area, there are always other classes I can swap in, but that’s just the normal routine I try and stick to.

This week I did manage to rally myself for a rowing class on Tuesday night and TRX Wednesday morning.  I was too exhausted, tired, and generally feeling pathetic to make it to anything else.  Everyone was telling me that resting when you’re sick is important.  I get that, but it’s a weird concept for me.  Growing up, we never….ever really took sick days off dance and swimming.  I really only recall missing when I had the chicken pox in high school.  Also, I don’t like the way not working out makes me feel.  I’ve felt like a weird little walrus blob all week.  I know one week isn’t really enough to do much damage, it just feels odd to be out of my routine.

Tomorrow starts a new week, and I shall get back to my regularly scheduled ass kicking.  To cap off my week of laziness, I made myself blueberry muffins for breakfast.  I’m also making Better Than His Mother’s Pot Roast with spicy garlic green beans for dinner tonight.

New day, new week, time to get after them gainz again!

New day, new week, time to get after them gainz again!

I had my first test of the semester this week too, and that didn’t really go as planned either.  Really, the whole class isn’t going all that well.  I’ve had this professor before, and he just doesn’t lecture in a way that makes sense for my brain.  He’s also one of those teachers that basically just reads the text out of the book and the only examples he uses are the one’s published in the text.  I’ve always found this annoying because then you only have the one option to try and figure something out.  Ugh!  I mean whatever, it’s one test, and I’ve already lost my 4.0, but it is a bit annoying because I do pay a lot of money to take distance classes.

Alrighty, so there’s my little pity party for myself for the week.  Time to put the past in the past and more forward with awesomeness!

Chapter 5: The Dare

Every once in awhile……you do something sorta stupid.  This tale of stupidity, otherwise known as My Life with the Vinyl Enthusiast, starts with a semi drunk dare in a bar.

The Background:

My people and I were out celebrating the bestie’s hubby’s birthday one night a few months ago, and she dared me to do something I stupidly suggested.  (The actual phrasing of the dare is a bit non-politically correct, and I don’t need this to be that kinda blog, so I shall rephrase slightly.)  The bestie basically dared me that I wouldn’t go up and ask a decently attractive dude, “Hey! Do you wanna dance and fight chics with me?!?!”  So….I did…..cuz it seemed like a reasonably good idea at the time.  And…. it was a reasonably good idea on how to spend a semi tipsy night at the bar! (The bestie still owes me a prize for performing the dare…..!!)

The Research:

The downfall of this came a several months later.  So, the Vinyl Enthusiast invites me out on a date.  By the time of the date, the bestie and I, in the course of our stalking discovered that he was divorced with kids……which is ya know……not on the list!  We had also discovered the reason for his nickname to which my intial thought was, “OF COURSE HE’S A VINYL ENTHUSIAST”  In a show of being open minded, and therefore more adult, I decided to go on this date.

High Fidelity.....great movie, and it becomes slightly amusing when you're life becomes dating a real like John Cusack!

High Fidelity…..great movie, and it becomes slightly amusing when you’re life becomes dating a real life John Cusack….I’m not kidding he sorta looks like John Cusack……but he’s got better hair!  The Enthusiast’s life could be this movie!

So, the first date was fine.  The second date also seemed alright……until I asked the apparently dreaded, “How old are you?” See bestie and I realized that he was older than us, which again is….fine….to a point, we just didn’t know how old.  Guys are tricky in that they have a strange ability to look much younger than they actually are.

I have a friend who knows the Enthusiast socially, and she claimed that he was “like maybe 38”.  That seemed ok….I could have rolled with that I guess.  It really did seem okay until I discovered that HE’S 41!!!!!  Luckily, I was somewhat wine tipsy when he broke the news, so I think I managed to stifle the shock and awe face fairly well…..although maybe I didn’t…..the jury is out on this.

The Results

Now……no need to panic, I’ve done that for you!  I’ve also compiled a list of reason why it might, at first glance, seem okay to date a 41 year old.

  • He owns a home and has a job!
  • He owns a super sexy, old school, muscle car.
  • You can carry on intelligent conversations.
  • He possess good dating skills….like manners, an ability to dance, and if he invites you over for dinner he’ll buy you flowers.
  • You generally live life what a motto similar to “Hold my beer, and watch this!”  What’s the worst that could happen!?
I mean I'm not a huge fan of red cars, but..... when this rolls up in your driveway, a girl stops and takes notice!

I mean I’m not a huge fan of red cars, but….. when this rolls up in your driveway, a girl stops and takes notice!

Those all seem like legitimate reasons to give something a chance…..so under bestie’s advice, and in defiance to my mother’s looks of cautious disapproval….I gave it a chance……and this is what I discovered.

  • There’s really nothing wrong with the fact that he has a house and a job……
  • His muscle car was a teenager when I was born…..more to the point……HE WAS A TEENAGER WHEN I WAS BORN!  This won’t always be apparent, but you have to stifle the urge to tell him not to parent you…..it can’t end well.
  • You maybe be able to have conversations, but they will be few and far between because he has parental responsibilities.  Even being a divorced, part time parent takes up a huge amount of time….I had no idea really.  Also, after a certain amount of time, one should ask about the wee tottlets, even if one has no desire to know much about them.  That’s just polite after all!  If you don’t ask, they will just volunteer info anyway….it’s a lost cause.
  • His good dating skills and manners will cause him to have existential crises about that status of your relationship.  This can be confusing to a twenty something who was pretty sure that “going on dates” didn’t qualify one for:
    • Meeting the children
    • Titling the relationship
    • Having generally any sort of concern about the “state of the relationship”
    • Expecting any sort of scheduled time commitments from the other person

The Conclusion:

Now, I’m clearly not a dating expert, and I believe that if you’re dating the same kinds of people all the time, you’ll probably get the same results.  Didn’t Einstein say something along that line!??  I think he did…..anyway.  I support change and the desire to try something new.  I also believe if you’re gonna go……it should be big or you should go home.  However, I would suggest based on the evidence that maybe the 27:41 age gap is a bit too much gap.  Idk, maybe that’s just me…..

Side Note

It’s shaping up to be a pretty epic party weekend around here.  Expect another picture blog to document the adventure!

The Unachievable Plan

I have plans, tons of plans!  Often, they are super unrealistic but I feel like its always good to have goals for things.  Seems totally realistic to buy a Harley even though the last time I tried to be in charge of a bike I hit a hay bale and tipped over……..yea……that happened.  Saturday morning I made a plan to steal a ’74 Trans Am….seems totally legit to me.  Just need to find out the garage code and we are good to go!

Today marks the beginning of the end of a plan that in theory seemed great, but reality had other plans.  My Dad had bought a sailboat…I assume….before I was born.  In any case, I don’t remember an existence pre-Sea Jet. That’s the name of the boat, the Sea Jet. Seems like an odd name for a boat that’s in no way large enough to be sea worthy, but it’s a play on our family initials. She’s a couple years older than I am, but she’s got a retractable keel, and that makes her a very rare girl indeed!  She’s also, I think, one of the smallest sailboats you can find with a sleeper cabin.  You could go drop anchor in the middle of the lake and live on her for the weekend if you want.  We never spent much time out on the boat, life just got too busy.  The Jet mostly hung out back behind my Grandpa’s house taking Mother Nature’s abuse.  When I was in high school, Dad and I did get it all cleaned up and launched out in the marina for the summer.  It was a good summer, and I was a big fan of scampering around the deck barefooted whist trying to learn how to sail.  I never really did learn how to sail, this was a minor flaw in my sailing plans, but that’s what Google is for right?!?!

After Dad died, I wanted the Jet to be my project.  I was going to get her all cleaned up and redone.  She was going to get new vinyl decals (blue instead of the 80’s brown she’s currently rocking), new cushions  and curtains in the cabin, and new riggings all around.  I decided on redoing everything in blue because Dad had blue eyes and I thought that would be a nice touch.  Plus…..I mean the cushions are orange…..ORANGE PEOPLE!!  I just couldn’t leave them like that!  The inside is also rocking some sorta orangey tinted wood….nothing a coat or two of white paint wouldn’t help perk up!

Can't say the years had been particularly nice to my Jet....

Can’t say the years had been particularly nice to my Jet….

Lichen, or as I prefer to call them "Nature's Slip 'n Slide", are no match for my muscles and some Dawn!

Lichen, or as I prefer to call them “Nature’s Slip ‘n Slide”, are no match for my muscles and some Dawn!

Alas, sailing isn’t really a middle class, single, white girl’s hobby.  Marina fees for the season alone are much more than I can afford, and the Jet does need new riggings before she’d be lake worthy.  I’m not sure how much the rigging would cost me, but I’m betting it’s not in the budget.  I haven’t had the heart to un-bag the sails, they look like they are fine, but if they aren’t that would be a huge expense.  Beyond the financial issue comes transport and storage.  I’m not sure my Terrain has the muscle to haul her, and I have a hard time shelling out the funds to spiff her all up if I’m just going to have to leave her outside in the weather as always.  Plus, Grandpa’s house is no longer available for free storage, so that’s a whole issue as well.

Long story short, we have to sell the boat.  I think this is the first project in my life that I’ve had in my hands and had to give up on.  I don’t often bite off more than I can chew, although I do love to dream big.  So I spent the day scrubbing the years off the Sea Jet and getting her ready for the “For Sale” signs.  Hopefully, she’ll catch someone’s attention and they can take her out to the lake where she belongs.  Realistically, I’ve done most of the hard manual labor for them now anyway!

Check the sweet 80's vintage vinyl!

Check the sweet 80’s vintage vinyl!