Chapter 10: A Letter to my Texan

Could I just say, that I’m not sure there’s anything better than coffee and Netflix in bed on a chilly, grey Saturday morning.  I’ve got a curly French twist which is looking gloriously bedheady and I’ve fluffed my comforter into poofy submission.  I’m feeling very Carrie Bradshaw this morning!

It’s probably been a month or two now since I saw an article about how JJ Watt is apparently having a horrible time finding a girlfriend.  Join the struggle sir!  Not that I’m looking for a girlfriend, but ya know what I mean.  Sometimes, when we normal people reach out to celebrities, mystical things happen.  On the advice of my hairdresser, this is my reach out to my celebrity.  So, if any of you have some magical connection to the Watt family, please feel free to pass this along! 🙂


…..and I’m dead…..

Dear Texan,

As a fellow single twenty something, I am well acquainted with the struggle that is the modern dating world.  You said in an interview that you were having a hard time separating the sincere women from the fame junkies and gold-diggers.  This is my small effort to prove that nice, normal girls are still out there.  Well, I mean normal is a relative term obviously, but according to the internet I feel like I can dig on your brand of normal.

Even as a normal girl living in the normal world, I encounter guys all the time who were apparently raised by wild animals, and thus have moral compasses that are slightly……wonky.  I can’t imagine the volume of women who throw themselves at you, purely because of who you are and what you do. I’m not trying to throw myself at you, although I’m sure you could catch me like a football!  Hahahah, ok that will be my only lame football joke.  Truth be told, I’m not generally a huge fan of football.  I’m not opposed to it watching the game, and I’d be more than down to watch you play.  I do know what you mean about someone only liking you for your job, I mean it would be super weird for someone to want to date me only because I run science experiments on ethanol all day long.  Our jobs are part of who we are for sure, but they aren’t the only thing that defines us.

I’m sure that fame brings gold-diggers, which is a whole thing that we normal girls don’t really have to deal with.  Do girls really ever have to deal with gold-diggers!?  Are guys going after a girl’s money still called gold-diggers?!  These are really the struggles of our lives I think, and Kayne didn’t help sort them any.  In any case, I think the key to a good relationship is two people who want each other, but don’t need each other to function in the world.  I make my own money, pay all my bills on time, and don’t have the time for people who aren’t responsible adults by this point in our lives.  I mean really, get it together people!!  I know that being an adult is hard, but that’s why God invented Google and YouTube.  Find the info you need, and then remember the mantra, “Stupider people than me have done this….therefore I can!”

Dating is really almost the worst thing ever, I get that.  In the face of the whole struggle, it’s important to remember that some of us good, Midwestern, traditioanl valued girls are still out there.  You’re a Midwestern guy, you know what I’m talking about.  Out here on the prairie we are raised to be respectful, work hard, and never forget where you came from and the importance of family and friends!  At the end of the day, hard work and a good heart will get you everything you need in life.  Atleast that’s what I’m hoping, because that’s what I’m banking on!

Fingers crossed,


photo 2

Obviously, this is all in good fun.  Hahaha  I get that celebrities can’t run around in the real world to meet people.  He’d get totally mauled by fans if he ever walked into my local bar of choice.  I mean this is Viking country, but people still know him.  Plus, I read this morning that he is dating someone.  However, I decided to write this anyway cuz it seemed like a fun idea.  Good luck on your new relationship my Texan, and hopefully your wrist heals soon.  …..yea that’s right, I do pay some attention to sports!