Eau de Swamp Butt

So, I have a smelly dog.  In my experience some dogs are smellier than others, and Scout is just smelly.  She never really smells like anything, mostly just like dog.  When the dogginess gets to be a bit too much, I force her into a bath.  Baths make her wet, fluffy, and generally annoyed.  She doesn’t enjoy them, and at best….she tolerates them.  For some reason, she hates outside bathes the most.  She has gotten a bit more tolerant of bathes at the new house as long as I get in the shower with her.  We’ve now even gotten to the point where she will get in the shower of her own accord.  It’s a special skill to heave a struggling, 75 pound dog into a shower or tub when she doesn’t want to go, and I’m glad I don’t have to do that anymore!

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A pissed off, flurry, damp, Lewis and Clark want to be. This is what happens after tub time, she gets so annoyed she won’t even look at me until I appease her with treats!


Last weekend at Main Squeeze’s…..something happened.  I’m not sure what exactly happened, but Scout was fine one minute, then came back into the house with Jeter smelling awful!  Like an awful mix of 100% humidity day swamp butt (don’t act like you don’t know what that smell is), molding gym bag, and something dead!  It was toxic!!  Like she’s gotten into some awful things, but this was maybe the worst.  Nope…..I take that back.  The time I had to give her multiple bathes and a shot of Febreeze all in the same evening was the worst.  That makes swamp butt/moldy death a close runner up.  I’m thinking that Jeter had something to do with it, but who really knows.  Two weekends ago, Scout rolled in poop…..multiple times…..after I yelled at her about it.  She’s not the brightest little bulb sometimes, and that makes her second bath in two weeks.  UGH!


Who would imagine that this cute little face could end up being fatally smelly!?!

The removal of the swamp butt was made complicated by the fact that Scout hates….HATES…..having her face washed.  I try and be a very careful Momma and keep the water and soap outta her eyes, ears, and nose, but sometimes her squirming makes the impossible.  This particular flavor of stink necessitated a double round of face scrubbing which I’m sure lead to some water logged ears, so now she’s doubly annoyed with me.  We are usually all up in each other’s faces, and I will tolerate a pretty substantial level of dogginess before I’ll give her a bath, but this was too much for even me.  Plus, we are having company this weekend, and I doubt they want a smelly fur baby running around.


I refuse to cuddle up with swamp butt…..you’d think she would learn!